-This flea infestation has been The Worst. After a few days of not seeing so many, I went down into the basement (which has been a relative safe spot) and had a bunch jump on my ankles. Then, while vacuuming the little fuckers up, I accidentally vacuumed a quarter and now we need a new vacuum cleaner. Is there another verb to use in place of "vacuum"?
-I can't stop looking at people's teeth. I usually look at someone's teeth before I look at their eyes. I think teeth are my favorite feature. The other day I met this woman with a cute cloth-diapered baby and I asked if she made the baby's soaker. When she opened her mouth to speak to me, her teeth were all brown and rotten, and I think I visibly recoiled. Must work on that.
-We had lovely little cookout last night. The conversation got around to blogs, and visitors to blogs. I really want to know why there have been so many downloads of this picture. Because really? It's a crappy photo of a crappy photo.
-I cut off all of my hair. There's a 19-inch long ponytail sitting on my bookshelf now. The hairdresser did a crappy job. I asked for this and she gave me this. Then she cut it again and gave me yet another haircut I didn't like. I left the salon before she could fuck it up more, and then spent a day in the most foul mood. I had no clue that a bad haircut could make me feel so terrible. I took a disposable razor to it and ended up with a haircut I can live with.
-When I went to pick Hannah up at camp, this boy came up to her and declared that another camper had been "hitting on him" the whole week. I've never heard a ten-year-old use that phrase. It sounded absolutely fucking ridiculous.
-I am working both Saturday and Sunday this weekend. It was that or come home from vacation a day early to do a Sunday shift. The last shiftlet I worked was crazy. My patient was fully dilated for the entire time I was there, which meant I did 19 run-downs, charted/did: 2 straight caths, 2 epidural boluses, 3 IV boluses, 2 vomit clean-ups, 4 cervical checks, and calmed one angry and frustrated husband. Tonight I know I'm the labor nurse, and I'm hoping that no one actually has or comes close to having a baby.
-I wrote this entire blog entry because I am procrastinating. I should be in the basement vacuuming and spraying toxic chemicals. I couldn't actually bring myself to read the wiki for permethrin, lest I decide it's too toxic to use.
4 comments:
That was a very funny post. Not that I think it's funny that you have a flea infestation, but it was funny. I know another word for vacuum (sweeper) but apparently not one for 'funny.'
Bad teeth make me recoil as well. I always just assume bad teeth=bad breath and automatically back away.
The incongruity between the haircut you wanted and the haircut you received made me spit on my monitor. So thanks for that.
Some comments:
(1) Instead of "vacuum" you could use "suck". Sounds appropriate for your situation.
(2) I also am tooth-judgmental. There is ample evidence that this is biologically determined, as good teeth indicate both good genes and good diet. Doesn't make me feel less guilty/classist when I am revolted by someone's teeth, though.
(3) Cookout was fun, we really enjoyed everyone. And the food was delicious. And I didn't even notice any fleas.
(4) Your hair looks adorable,
and (5) Your shawl/stole should be dry this evening, but I'm out late. We should connect so you can take it with you. Some folks say you *should* block first, weave later, as your ends can unweave as your knitting expands. I love you enough to do flea-free blocking, but not to weave in your ends. Sorry.
Instead of anything toxic inside your home try Diatomasceous Earth. It's actually powdered fossil remains, feels like talcum powder. They stuff is non-toxic and destroys by working its way under their exoskeleton and grinding them to death...ouch.
Oh ya, your post was funny as hell too !
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